🌱LEGENDARY?
WEAPON
Blade of Grass
Damage: emotionally devastating. Durability: until someone steps on it.
$0.99
🗡️PAY-TO-WIN
WEAPON
OP Sword of Clint
One-shots everything, including game balance.
$999.99
🪵RARE-ish
WEAPON
Stick of Slight Annoyance
+1 damage. +900% confidence.
$14.99
🛡️TRUST US
ARMOR
Invisible Shield
You cannot see it. Neither can the damage reduction.
$79.99
👙COSMETIC
ARMOR
That Armor Set
The suspiciously impractical fantasy armor option. Fan-site parody inspired by the armor-equity joke.
$24.99
🩲COSMETIC
ARMOR
Heroic Mankini
Same protection. Considerably more confidence required.
$24.99
🎩EPIC HAT
COSMETIC
Pretty Hat
It is pretty. It is a hat. Clint has no further notes.
$7.77
🧄FRAGRANT
COSMETIC
Greg Garlic Aura
Enemies keep their distance. So does everyone else.
$12.99
🐔BEST SELLER
MOUNT
Chicken Mount
Fastest chicken in Azerim. Still a chicken.
$69.69
🪑UNSTABLE
MOUNT
Epic Flying Chair
Why ride a dragon when you can sit aggressively?
$29.99
🐑WOOLLY
MOUNT
Sheep Mount
Has a 40% chance of ignoring where you told it to go.
$39.99
❓MYSTERY
MOUNT
Mystery Mount
Could be a dragon. Could be a rock with wheels.
$49.99
📛SERVICE
SERVICE
Name Change
Change your name. Regret it. Pay again. Clint planned this.
$19.99
⬆️BOOST
SERVICE
Level 100 Boost
Skip the adventure and immediately complain there is nothing to do.
$49.99
🗑️NON-REFUNDABLE
SERVICE
Delete Account Deluxe
Deletes your fake account with a premium animation.
$29.99
🪨WHY
JUNK
Premium Rock
A rock. Slightly more premium than the free rocks outside Honeywood.
$4.99
👜COMMON
JUNK
Bag of Dirt
Authentic Azerim dirt. Probably.
$1.00
💨ESSENTIAL
JUNK
Air — 1 Hour
Breathe freely for sixty whole minutes. Auto-renews emotionally.
$9.99
☕CONSUMABLE
JUNK
Clint’s Coffee
+10% awake. +90% regret.
$6.66
📜MYTHIC
JUNK
Developer Apology
A rare written apology from the developers. Blank on the inside.
$99.99
🚪VALUE
SERVICE
Dungeon Entrance Fee
You already bought the expansion. This is the door fee.
$15.00
✨CLINT APPROVED
SERVICE
God Mode — 24 Hours
Become invincible. Boring, but expensive.
$199.99